Pro Parenting Tip #29: Stack Habits
We want our teens to develop healthy habits, but it can feel like pulling teeth to get them to brush their teeth 🪥.
To understand why, let’s look at the science underlying habits.
A habit is formed when we repeat an action enough times to create a neural pathway in our brain. Once this neural pathway is forged, the activity becomes so effortless we don’t even have to think about doing it.
But creating a new neural pathway isn’t easy. In fact, it’s quite difficult.
It requires consistency over a span of time.
The disruption caused by our teens’ ever-changing schedules and activities can make this extra challenging.
So, what can we do?
One strategy is HABIT STACKING.
According to James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits , it’s easier to create new habits if we pair them with habits we already have in place.
This allows us to build off pre-existing neural pathways rather than having to create new ones from scratch.
By decreasing the effort required, we can increase the success rate from 33% to 75%.
HERE’S HOW IT WORKS
Fill in this sentence:
After I <insert current habit> then I will <insert new habit>.
For example:
After I turn off the TV, then I will get my toothbrush.
After I put on my PJs, then I will plug in my phone.
After I take my last bite of dinner, then I will pick up my plate.
This method is effective because the existing habit serves as a cue for the new habit. That means:
1. The new habit must come AFTER the existing habit (This is why telling kids to brush their teeth BEFORE they watch TV doesn’t work).
2. The existing and new habits must be concrete and specific (e.g., "After I turn off the TV" instead of "After I watch TV").
3. The existing habit must be something your teen already does daily without having to think about it (aka, without you nagging).
By the way, this works for parents too!
THE BOTTOM LINE
The easier we make a healthy activity, the more likely it'll turn into a habit.
STACK A NEW PARENTING HABIT
Want to make a habit out of responding more effectively to your teen? Join us in the Thriving Parent Academy to hone your skills, learn new strategies, get support and encouragement, and fast track improving the dynamic in your home.
