Pro Parenting Tip #17: Catch Them Doing Something RIGHT

I want to address something most parents do without realizing the impact it has on our teens.

Sometimes it can be a little too easy to focus on what our teen does wrong.

After all, isn’t it our responsibility as a parent to correct them and make sure they learn to be polite, kind, considerate, semi-presentable human beings?

Our heart is in the right place, but the message we send can really hurt our teen's heart.

They start to feel like they can do nothing right.

They feel bad about themselves.

They get angry and resentful.

Many even feel bullied (at least, that’s what they’ve told me).

They try to convince themselves that they don't care (but they do).

Many even stop trying.

Which makes it even easier for us to find things they do wrong.

And the cycle spins out of control.

Instead, I challenge you to look for what your teen does RIGHT.

Let them know you see it and appreciate it.

Even write it down and put it into a jar of awesomeness that they can read.

Here's what happens when you start finding good things your teen does:

1. You reset your brain to look for positive behaviors (which means you'll notice them more)

2. You send the message to your teen that they CAN do things right, which makes them want to try even more.

3. You reinforce the behavior you like, which is more effective at inspiring change than criticizing the behavior you don't like.

4. You feel good, your teen feels good, your whole family feels good.

THE BOTTOM LINE

You get more of what you focus on, so focus on what your teen does RIGHT!

BONUS RESOURCE

Here's a powerful mind hack to help you jumpstart your new habit of focusing on what your teen does right. Download the Worksheet