Pro Parenting Tip #49: Listen with Empathy
We have seen an uptick in teen anxiety over the past few years.
Feeling anxious comes from fear of the unknown.
And there are endless unknowns for our teens to worry about:
• Will they know anyone in their classes or lunch?
• Why didn't their friend text them back?
• What are people saying about them?
• Will their teachers be mean or chill?
• Is math going to be too hard?
• What if they mess up at the game?
Anxiety may show up as anger, crying, bad attitude, poor sleep habits, lack of time management, or other behaviors we perceive as difficult.
As parents, we may be tempted to jump into:
Shut-it-down mode: Enough already! Just stop it or else I'll take your phone away.
Problem-solving mode: If you stay on top of your homework like I've told you, you'll be fine.
Reality-check mode: No one cares if you have a pimple.
Confidence-booster mode: You're so smart, you're going to do great!
Unfortunately, rather than feeling less anxious, our teens now feel bad about feeling bad, which makes them even more stressed.
Rather than feeling supported, now they're worried about disappointing you too.
The trick to helping our teens when they're anxious is to LISTEN to their concerns without judgment.
This sounds easier than it is. In fact, if we do it wrong, it can backfire and upset our teens even more.
So, here's a trick. I call it empathetic listening.
You just have to do ONE THING: Listen with the intent to immerse yourself into their experience.
Try to figure out what they're feeling and why.
Only when we can embrace their perspective free from our own will we be able to express true empathy.
Often, all they need is to know that you understand that this is challenging for them and validate what they are feeling.
It makes them feel valued, heard, safe, and seen.
That gives them the courage and strength to persevere.
THE BOTTOM LINE
The best way to help your teen deal with stress is to listen with empathy.
YOU DESERVE TO BE HEARD TOO!
Is your teen's anxiety persisting throughout the day, lasting over two weeks, and affecting their daily routine? Seeking professional help is crucial. Untreated anxiety can trigger academic struggles, friendship issues, depression, and substance misuse.
For a proactive step, consider a FREE CONSULTATION with me. Let's support your teen's well-being together. 🌟
